Daylight Savings Crisis

Since when is it the job of worthless politicians to decide what time it is? Apparently since 1918…..

Let me begin with something that has taken on a consistent role in the subject matter I am driven to discuss…..WHO CARES? As soon as I see this woman as depicted in one of my photoshopped versions of a West Coast TV local news show, I imagine her with a pitch fork in one hand and a burning torch in the other as she storms her pussy-hat-wearing fat ass up the steps of the US Capitol to scream about Donald Trump. But today her virtuous demands are directed at something I never gave a crap about ever before now. Daylight Savings Time, or DST for the overly encumbered too busy for whole words Washington Politicians. Apparently and according to the same people who claim the earth is round and we walked on the moon are telling us that way back in 1918 someone decided it would become necessary to shift the clocks backwards and forwards in order to “save energy”. Seems to me if we were so concerned with saving energy that long ago we’d be driving electric flying cars and eating crickets by now. What do I know though……I have no reason to doubt the media right?

Anyway, this 1918 initiative to conserve the planet, (call it the OLD Green Deal) has apparently run its course and according to modern democrats AKA Communists (and most ordinary people for that matter) It’s time to stop this craziness. I can agree with this except why is Congress involved? Who the hell do they think they are? This should be something the PEOPLE vote on and not through their corrupt representatives who have proven their value over many decades of fraud and criminal behavior. The ONLY reason Congress is elbowing in on our clocks is to create yet another distraction to cloud the horrors raining down on their parade. Tucker Carlson and Kevin McCarthy. The January 6 fraud wrecking crew. Are we to really believe they care about what time it is? Sad part is they’ve had a name for their new/old distraction ever since they’ve had retards in the US Senate. It’s actually called “The Sunshine Protection Act” and we should all remember how these demons name their agendas. While we are all changing the batteries in our smoke detectors and going to bed 20 minutes early they are busily planning ways to keep us confined to our quarters to protect the Sunshine FROM US. Never underestimate the entitlements of the democrat/communist party.

Thanks to Marco Rubio, the enormous earred Republican fraud, we have a whole realm for neoexperts to explain how one tiny little hour can effect so many new advantages we’ve been deprived of as far back as 1918. Let’s review them and thank the Congress for finally stepping in to correct these failures.

• Car crashes and accidents involving pedestrians. Maybe something like a licensing process and perhaps some type of defensive driving education or what about something like a cement walkway that could run alongside the roads so people who choose to walk can do so without the fear of being struck by cars. Rubio’s plan could reduce costs to just one hour.
• Cardiac Issues, Stroke, or seasonal depression. Wow, this is a big one. Before if we wanted heart attacks and strokes we just had to get a covid booster shot but now by NOT changing our clocks by one hour we can…..uh…..yes, yes we can.
• Reduce the number of robberies by….wait for it…..27%! That’s right! Instead of locking up thieves and criminals and paying for prisons and police, we can fix it all with just one measly little hour. What took this so long?!
• Benefits the economy! One hour and POOF the economy is fixed. I don’t even know how to begin to thank these geniuses! And here I thought if we could just lose this retard in the White House it would all self correct but all it needed was an hour. Outstanding.
• Reduce childhood obesity and increase physical fitness! Never would’ve guessed we could stop growing fat kids by changing the clock systems! I mean who would have the time to discipline children or take away their video games and give them bicycles and kick their fat asses out the door to go outside and play. One hour and it’s done. Amazing. And Gyms….who needs them now. We have that hour back.
• Benefits the agricultural economy! Damn this is almost too easy! We don’t have to sell all of our farmland to China or kill all of our chickens and cows, we just need to take control of that ONE HOUR and sit back and reap all those marvelous benefits. Thank you Little Marco!
• Reduce Energy Usage! Wait a minute…..isn’t this what they told us back in 1918 to ENCOURAGE us to change our clocks twice a year?! Now they’re using it to ENCOURAGE us to disregard 1918 and keep the hour for bigger and better things. They’ve lost me with this one….but again I say WHO CARES?

The distraction value of this potentially endless debate lives on and local news has a bottomless pit of related stories they can use to build on. Whenever another threat of nuclear disaster or a mystery Chinese balloon or some wayward trainload of toxic chemicals goes off the rails they can fire up another Daylight Savings Time story and like magic, nothing to see there……. The distractions are vast and this is just another one in the mix. One hour has controlled the entire weekend news cycle.